Hillbilly Revival 2

Family Fun Night 2003

HILLBILLY REVIVAL 2
The Return of Booger ©

by Jim Caswell, Steve Cain and Dave Brockman

Jim is getting ready to introduce the next act when the Hillbilly Prayer Team returns to the River of Life Christian Center. The Hillbillies are hooping and hollering, glad to be back. Getting the attention of the audience, Luke turns to see the visitors and panics.

LUKE
Oh no! Not again!

Luke launches himself out of his seat, runs out the stage door, slamming it behind him as he goes. As the hillbillies reach the front, Jim greets them.

JIM
Eric told me about you guys. You were here last year.

BILLY BOB
We sher was. Mah name is Billy Bob. Nice ta meecha.

Billy Bob looks at Jim with a strange look on his face.

Have we met before?

JIM
Nope.

BILLY BOB
Strange. Y'all look like onea mah cousins. Speakin' a which,
this here is mah cousin Billy Rob, and mah other cousin Billy Raybert,
and mah other cousin Billy Dee.

JIM
Which one is Booger?

Booger's hand was headed for his nose, but is distracted by the mention of his name and shoots a smile to the audience.

BOOGER
Tha's me!

Billy Bob pats Booger on the back, smiling.

BILLY BOB
He done been permoted to a full-fledged catcher.

Billy Bob turns back to the other two hillbillies.

Billy Rob 'n Billy Raybert wern able ta make the trip lass year,
sose we figgered we'd make anuder trip.

JIM
Well, welcome.

BILLY BOB
We's been werkin' on getting' inta the deep things this past year
'n thought y'all might wanna become ona them thare brother churches.

JIM
Well, that depends. What have you been up to?

BILLY BOB
We gots ourselves a music leader now. Billy Raybert went out 'n learned a instrument.

JIM
Really. What do you play? Guitar? Keyboards? Drums?

Jim looks at the hillbillies with question.

The banjo?

Billy Raybert reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of spoons.

BILLY RAYBERT
Nope. The spoons.
Less show these nice folk a taste of praze 'n wership, boys.

BILLY ROB
Alright! A ho down!

Billy Raybert starts playing the spoons while the other hillbillies start stomping and jumping around, hooping, hollering, shouting, dancing, and letting out the occasional "Ho" and Shoo", driving Jim back a little bit so as to not get dragged into the ruckus. All of the hillbillies seem to actively avoid linking hands with Booger, however.

BILLY RAYBERT
Y'all raise yer hands to the Lord!

The hillbillies add raised hands to their dancing.

Shout to the Lord!

ALL HILLBILLIES (still dancing)
Ho! Shoo! Ho! Shoo!

BILLY RAYBERT
Praise the Lord!

ALL HILLBILLIES (still dancing)
Praise the Lord!

BILLY RAYBERT
Booger! Sound da trumpet!

Booger whips out his handkerchief, blowing his nose loud and long, supported by the hillbillies howling along. The boys finish up, clapping and congratulating each other on a job well done.

BILLY BOB
So, whadya think?

JIM (still standing at a distance)
That was pretty good. What else have you learned?

BILLY ROB
We also started baptizin'.

JIM
Wow. That's fantastic. Do you have a tub, or a pool, or do you use the creek?

BILLY ROB
Neither. As the trailer park fire chief, I got us the use a the firehose.

JIM
Oh boy.

BILLY ROB
Yep. Its parked out front, all filled up 'n ready ta go.

BOOGER (grinning)
Ah gets ta werk the hose!

BILLY BOB
Got anyone needin' ta be baptized?

Luke, thinking it might be safe, opens the stage door again and begins to emerge. Jim sees him as he begins to enter and smiles.

JIM
As a matter of fact ….
I believe you gentlemen know Luke?

Luke begins to panic; not knowing what he's being volunteered for this time.

LUKE
Not again!

As Luke turns to run once more, Booger attempts to grab him by the shoulders, but slips through his fingers.

BILLY ROB
Lets get 'em, boys!

BILLY RAYBERT
YeeHaw!

The four hillbillies take off running after the fleeing Luke, darting out through the stage door, which closes behind them.

JIM
Almost have to feel bad for Luke.

Luke screams out as the sound of rushing water is heard.

BOOGER (from behind the door)
Gottim!

JIM
Almost.